|The most heart wrenching arrangement from the littlest one to love her.|
|Only a small portion of the flowers that were sent to the funeral home. She was loved by many.|
How do you say goodbye to your Mom, your best friend? I pretty much spent the past couple of weeks convincing myself that Mom was on a vacation, that she wasn't really gone.
|Mom, actually on vacation. This was on our cruise to Bermuda in October, 2007.|
I greeted so many at the funeral home that Friday. So many who hugged me and told me that she was too young. Yes, I know. That she loved me. Yes, that I have never questioned. I wish someone could tell me how to express how much one life can mean. I was afraid to see her in the casket. I didn't know what to "say" to her. I walked up with my Dad and sang to her. I sang her the same song she sang to me when I was little. "Que Sera, Sera" by Doris Day. I felt bad leaving at the end of the evening, just leaving her alone in that room. On this subject, the funeral home has found a way to profit from this particular form of guilt; they actually offer an option (for a cost, of course) for loved ones to spend the night in a viewing room with their loved one. I thought about it for a moment, but then realized I had a baby at home to take care of, plus I certainly wouldn't have gotten any sleep.
The next morning we headed to the church for Mom's funeral. I personally picked out all of the Bible selections and the Hymns for her service. There was one reading, a poem I read for my Mom. I managed to make it all the way through without breaking down into tears, though my knees were knocking the whole time.
|Bobby with his "Uncle" Brian, right before Mom's funeral|
Tuesday we had Mom cremated. My Dad couldn't go in to say goodbye and he certainly wasn't able to witness Mom being placed in the cremation device. Since I do WAY too much reading on the internet, I decided that I needed to witness Mom being placed in the cremation oven. I was lead to a much smaller viewing room to say my final goodbye. I brought her flowers, white and pink carnations. Pink carnations symbolize a Mother's love and "I'll never forget you". White carnations symbolize eternal life and love. My husband, my son and I walked with Mom to the cremation area, saw her placed, and left.
We got to bring her home again two days later.