Saturday, August 10, 2013


Three weeks after we lost Mom, we regrouped to honor her. 

The most heart wrenching arrangement from the littlest one to love her. 

Only a small portion of the flowers that were sent to the funeral home.  She was loved by many.

How do you say goodbye to your Mom, your best friend?  I pretty much spent the past couple of weeks convincing myself that Mom was on a vacation, that she wasn't really gone. 

Mom, actually on vacation.  This was on our cruise to Bermuda in October, 2007.

I greeted so many at the funeral home that Friday.  So many who hugged me and told me that she was too young.  Yes, I know.  That she loved me.  Yes, that I have never questioned.  I wish someone could tell me how to express how much one life can mean.  I was afraid to see her in the casket.  I didn't know what to "say" to her.  I walked up with my Dad and sang to her.  I sang her the same song she sang to me when I was little.  "Que Sera, Sera" by Doris Day.  I felt bad leaving at the end of the evening, just leaving her alone in that room.  On this subject, the funeral home has found a way to profit from this particular form of guilt; they actually offer an option (for a cost, of course) for loved ones to spend the night in a viewing room with their loved one.  I thought about it for a moment, but then realized I had a baby at home to take care of, plus I certainly wouldn't have gotten any sleep.

Mom's Girls....
My best friend, Jen, had come into town from West Virginia to attend the viewing and the funeral.  She had said to me that if I needed anything, to call.  So, after we had finished up at the funeral home, I realized I wasn't ready to go home yet.  Dad was at home, along with other family members.  I just wasn't ready to deal with all of that.  So, I called Jen and asked her to meet us for a drink.  We sat and talked about "normal" things for over an hour.  It was nice to not have to be completely consumed with my grief.

The next morning we headed to the church for Mom's funeral.  I personally picked out all of the Bible selections and the Hymns for her service.   There was one reading, a poem I read for my Mom.  I managed to make it all the way through without breaking down into tears, though my knees were knocking the whole time. 

Bobby with his "Uncle" Brian, right before Mom's funeral

Tuesday we had Mom cremated.  My Dad couldn't go in to say goodbye and he certainly wasn't able to witness Mom being placed in the cremation device.  Since I do WAY too much reading on the internet, I decided that I needed to witness Mom being placed in the cremation oven.  I was lead to a much smaller viewing room to say my final goodbye.  I brought her flowers, white and pink carnations.  Pink carnations symbolize a Mother's love and "I'll never forget you".  White carnations symbolize eternal life and love.  My husband, my son and I walked with Mom to the cremation area, saw her placed, and left.

We got to bring her home again two days later.

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